"Oh, I'll have a cosmo." -Sex and the City
"Two martinis please, and make Mr. Parker's a double."-The Parent Trap
"I'll have a Grey Goose Martini, two olives, dirty."-Sweet Home Alabama
"Two double seven and sevens."-Bridesmaids
"151 rum, pineapple juice, Malibu..." -Caribou Lou
But seriously, when did everyone learn about different alcohol and drinks? Was that a class I missed freshman year? Even on my 21st birthday, after I ordered my Cosmopolitan, my friends had to help order as I decided what kind of taste I liked. The verdict: fruity and sweet so I can barely taste the alcohol. How cute and precious I am.
I'm not ashamed that I didn't drink before my 21st birthday, but it's just a weird transition going from zero to twenty-one in one birthday. With a lot of my friends turning 21 now, we're going to celebrate their birthdays and I still have no idea what to order. It's also all so expensive! I'm not made of money! The most recent birthday of my friends took place this last week, and we went to Chili's happy hour, which helped me save some face because they had margaritas and I certainly know about margaritas. Or at least I thought I did. When the bartender asked what flavor, I excitedly pointed to the marchino cherries and said "I really like those...can I have some of those in it?!" The innocence, the innocence!
I also get really nervous buying alcohol in the grocery store. It's weird, it's almost like buying condoms or a first bra, trying to avoid eye contact and paying as fast as you can without giggling from embarrassment.
So clearly, alcohol and I won't be making BFF bracelets anytime soon, but hopefully one day I can actually order a real drink without hesitation, because right now, starting :26 and on is an accurate portrayal of my life:
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