Here's a breakdown of the levels of attraction I've experienced:
1) The Subway Eye Flirtation
Your eyes meet on a crowded subway, over the shoulder of a mom being clung to by a baby, past the right earlobe of someone listening to music; your eyes lock. Then they quickly shift away. Then you look back. Ah! They are still looking at you. Now downwards at your shoes. And back, but damn they are focused on wiping the sweat off their brow. Maybe they are trying to make themselves more presentable for you?
The subway eye flirtation is a favorite of mine, because it is non-committal yet deliciously entertaining. You feel good because they are checking you out, they feel good because you are checking them out. Everybody wins!
2) The Street Holler
It's the end of the day, you just climbed the stairs after a 35 minute train ride, and it begins. "Hola chica, que paso?", "Muy bonita, mama", "Mi amor, mi amor!". You adjust your earbuds, permafix a frown to your face, and march on down the street.
It's like Vanessa sings in "It Won't Be Long Now" in In The Heights, "The boys around the way holler at me when I'm walking down the street / Their machismo pride, doesn't break my stride / It's a compliment so they say." Okay great, another ego boost. However, these just seem lewd. Maybe it's because I'm not 100% sure what they are saying (WHY did I take French over Spanish?), maybe it's because I've never really experienced this kind of attention (Vancouver guys certainly haven't whistled at me on the street), or maybe it's just because I feel somewhat objectified (Thanks Theater and Dance classes!). It just seems a little absurd. I mean, I've gotten a marriage proposal before... Really? A girl you've seen for less than 30 seconds and you think she's the one to marry?
3) The Real Grown Up Dating
You meet up at the predetermined time and place. The basics are covered: where you grew up, where you went to school, family, your professional future (and only your professional future, your romantic future is taboo!). You discuss things you have in common, things you don't have in common, and if you're lucky, only a few awkward pauses.
Or you get stood up. Cute.
4) The Bicycle Built For Two
Basically the happy montage section of a rom-com. Exploring the city together, sharing Big Gay Ice Cream Monday Sundaes together, taking touristy photos together, loving life together.
This level of attraction is so fun. It's like nothing is the world can touch you. Sometimes I crave the affection of the level four attraction; the finger linking, the gentle kisses, the late night life talks. But on the other hand, there is something extremely freeing and exciting about not having to answer to anyone but yourself. That's what NYC has given me this summer. A chance to "do me". I've been doing independent, single, 21 year-old me, and as cheesy as that feels to read, it feels even better to live it.
And while I do appreciate the quote from Love Story that titles this post, I think we can all agree there are times when you hurt someone you care about, and you have to apologize. But when it's you, just you, you never have to apologize for being yourself.
