This week is brought to you by the word struggle bus

Sometime between Monday and Tuesday, I boarded the struggle bus and I haven't gotten off. What's worse, I willing waved my arms, flagged it down, and got on!

I'm still trying to find this balance of having fun, and responsibility. With quotes like,"You have four years to be irresponsible here. Relax. Work is for people with jobs. You'll never remember class time, but you'll remember time you wasted hanging out with your friends. So, stay out late. Go out on a Tuesday with your friends when you have a paper due Wednesday. Spend money you don't have. Drink 'til sunrise. The work never ends, but college does..." (Tom Petty) floating around, I can't really be blamed that I went out dancing instead of learning how to conjugate "mettre" for my French class on Friday right? Not to mention that I felt super cool flashing my 21-year-old ID and got to skip those hideous black X's on my hands.

And at work on Wednesday, another 8th grader made me realize how different life is at 14 and 21. She was telling me how lucky I am that I can stay up as late as I want, have people whenever I want, eat whatever I want, and basically do whatever I want. Which is kind of true. We have a lot of freedom at this age, and I've been wondering if I've been taking advantage of it since I like to keep my life organized, scheduled, and planned out. Maybe that's why I ate a whole pan of brownies with friends instead of reading a 27 paged article for class. Maybe that's why I had to eat a Hershey's chocolate kiss for breakfast on Wednesday. (Which isn't as glamorous as our first grade selves thought it would be to have candy for breakfast.) As fun as these past couple of nights have been, I have definitely felt the consequences in my classes. Forgetting assignments, not doing well on quizzes, only hitting a triple pirouette once, and just the general feeling that I will pass out from exhaustion at any moment.

I wish that when it came to partying and procrastinating I could say that

But when I felt super sick Friday night, I finally found my stop and got off the struggle bus because I made myself skip a party just so I could get sleep and feel better. 

I'm sure it's possible to balance having fun and and being responsible. But maybe it's okay that we're not really sure how to equalize them right now. And maybe it's better to have a few slip-ups now than later when we have jobs. After all, work never ends, but college does.

Nancy Meyers presents: Love.

Growing up watching every Nancy Meyers romantic comedy, I have often found myself choreographing my own happy-moments montages, applying soundtracks to my emotions, and hoping that my current love interest will execute some grandiose, romantic gesture. Basically, I wish my life was a rom-com. And can you blame me? There's love, laughter, and the conflict is solved in under 100 minutes.

Of course, I'm not silly enough to truly expect my life to reflect rom-coms (but if any cute guys wants to organize a flash mob in Grand Central Station like in Friends With Benefits, I won't complain...), but they've definitely have had me thinking about love. Especially with yesterday being Valentine's Day.  Confession time: this is my first Valentine's Day being single in five years. WHAT? I'm only 21 years-old! Clearly, romantic love has been a priority for me for the past five years, probably because of all those rom-coms. You would think yesterday would have been hard for me to get through, but I can sincerely say it wasn't. Sure, it was weird to not bake brownies or write a wonderfully cheesy card, but I've found out that my idea of love has grown and expanded, which is why I didn't drown myself in chocolate ice cream and The Notebook.

My realization that my idea of love has expanded came the day before Valentine's Day, when I worked the front desk at Ballet Austin. Like I have for the past year and a half of working there, I found myself listening to stories of 8th grade girls and their love predicaments. Things like the stressful task of giving your crush a Valentine, or slow-dancing with a boy for the first time. I mean, do y'all remember how exciting it was to bobble around in a circle to some R&B slow jam? (It was Usher and Alicia Key's "My Boo" for me!)  It was so nice to reminisce on the simpler times as they recounted their stories. I remember at the time, slow dancing, hand holding, and just talking on the phone elicited a feeling of being loved. As we've gotten older, clearly the feeling of being loved has become more intimate, with losing virginities and planning futures together. Then, after the break-up with my boyfriend last semester, my idea of love expanded even more. I thought I wouldn't feel loved for a while, but it was quite the opposite! My mom and my close friends showed me where the love was (I have to remember to tell the Black Eyed Peas next time I talk to them), and they were there for me whenever I needed them. That's when I realized that rom-coms don't have to always end with the girl getting the guy that she was mad at a mere 17 minutes ago. Love in real life is scary and awesome, and isn't only manifested through romance. It can be felt through your mom listening to you cry on the phone for the 100th time, laughing about embarrassing moments with your best friend, or even dancing the wobble with your friends in your living room on Valentine's Day. And cue: "This Will Be An Everlasting Love" by Natalie Cole, because everyone knows a good rom-com ends with a scene of dancing to that song.

xx

Let's Talk About Success Baby

suc-cess |səkˈses|

noun

1. the accomplishment of an aim, goal, or purpose

How do you define success?

Is it getting an A on a math exam? Rapping every line of Macklemore’s Thrift Shop perfectly? Someone telling you that you could be Beyonce's doppleganger? (The last one is correct, btdubs.)

And even more importantly, who do you let define your success? Being in college and working at jobs or internships, we are constantly trying to meet a standard defined by someone else. But I think things would be a lot easier for us if we stopped comparing our bangs to Zooey Deschanel’s or our number of instagram likes to those girls' from high school; if we defined our own success.

For me, I often equate success with recognition of my hard-work. I’m trying to avoid leaving recognition for other people to award me, and instead deciding myself. Like some days, I decide if I'm successful if I actually take a shower and go to bed at a decent hour. Other days it's being able to flip an egg without breaking the yolk. And then it can also be finding out The New York Times article I was interviewed for was published.

I remember when success revolving around stickers of butterflies and not getting tagged by the lava monster, but now, it's a whole different game. We're all still trying to run around not being attacked by the lava monster which is now labeled as failure. Of course there may be some days where it seems like the lava monster is only chasing after you, but even Beyonce has her off days. Success is what you choose to make it, and the definition is yours to write.

xx

The Fourth Line

There’s a popular picture on the internet, consisting of a triangle and a possibility at each point: good grades, social life, and enough sleep. Inside the triangle it reads: “choose two”. It’s definitely a real and hard decision students have to face daily. It’s almost as hard as deciding whether to work out or stay home and eat cookies while watching New Girl. Okay just kidding, that’s clearly an easy decision. 

And if that wasn’t hard enough, in the past year or two another line has been added: career preparation. As we near college graduation, we have the added duty of finding a career to sustain us once we’re out of college so we’re not like the bird lady in Mary Poppins. Although she did seem bad-ass and "Feed the Birds" is one of my fave Disney songs.

How do you balance school, friends, sleep, and finding internships/networking with top-dogs in your career industry? Can you even balance it all? And if you can’t, who gets voted off the island? This is seriously like Sophie’s Choice. Kind of.

I’m wanting to go into social/digital media and editorial/entertainment writing after college, so in order for me to keep up with the industry, I literally need to watch TV and constantly check twitter so I can be up to speed on the latest pop culture references, (it’s actually pretty awesome). But I can’t always sit down for 30 minutes and watch TV, and retweeting the latest social media news while conjugating French verbs in class just isn’t possible.

I have friends who want to be directors and actors, but can’t go to auditions or spend all their time blocking a show because they need to study bio or read for their economy class. 

And don’t forget friends! And sleep (which practically is our best friend anyways right?)! I truly used to be a believer that it was possible to do it all, but now that we’re adding more lines, and more funny shows on TV, I’m not entirely sure that it is. But I consider myself an inclusive person, and I want to keep everything on the island! Whether that means I’ll have to sacrifice a few hours of sleep, or not immediately know about what Kimye is naming their baby, I guess we’ll have to see. But I’m going to make these four lines into a diamond and make every point shine. (It’s the end of the week, you needed that cheesy line.)

xx