(Unless, of course, I decided to buy into that whole grad school idea...)
You would think since last night was the 17th first day of school eve that I've experienced, I'd be calm, cool, and collected. Oh, how wrong you would be. After scrambling around preparing for things, I lied in bed for at least half an hour, reminiscing on the my 16 year relationship with the one and only: education.
As I tossed, turned, and ferociously adjusted my pillow to its cooler side, it seemed like every memory from the past 16 years rushed to my brain; the good, the bad, and the ugly.
From organizing four of my friends and myself into the Hayes Elementary School version of the Spice Girls (the good - 1st grade), to the day I ate a whole tin of cinnamon altoids and promptly got strep throat (the bad - 5th grade), to the bright blue velvet track suit covered in stars and moons I frequently wore (the ugly - 4th grade).
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| Spice Girls in training |
From the first time I experienced the joys of socializing during passing period (the good - 6th grade), to the backlash I got after I broke up with my first boyfriend over AIM, which I will admit, was pretty harsh (the bad - 7th grade), to basically every outfit I wore in middle school, especially the carefully crafted placement of my puka shell necklace hanging out of my navy blue Mickey Mouse hoodie (the ugly - all grades).
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| Note the omnipresent puka shell necklace and the signature Felicia pose |
From winning best personality with my good pal Ben Koch (the good - 12th grade), to failing my first written driving test (the bad - 10th grade), to the hideous hodge-podge outfits that new dance team members had to wear for initiation (the ugly - 9th grade).
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| Best Personality, clearly |
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| On top of these outfits we had to dance whenever someone asked us to... |
And there so many more in between.
The best moments I thought of? The graduations from 5th grade, 8th grade, and 12th grade. By far my top three years of school so far, graduating from each of those grades was just the sweet, sweet icing on the cake. With remembering distinct moments from each graduation, I definitely smiled in between my glances at the clock to see how little sleep I was going to get. Getting pulled into a hug by Principal Thompson (5th grade), watching our rememberance video (8th grade), and holding back my tears after I finished my graduation speech to CRHS's class of 2010 (12th grade).
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| Alan Grove and I winning CR's Citizenship Award! |
With all of those, I did feel a sense of finality, but I felt excitement more than anything. I knew I would be diving into this new, large pool that would be even bigger and even better than the last. But this morning, as I was putting on make-up and singing along to Black Eyed Peas' "Where is the Love?" (a ritual I've had since 6th grade), I couldn't help but feel a little scared and sad. I can't help but think that this will be the last time I do anything related to school. I can't help but cling on to this last year with all my might. Maybe it's because there isn't another institution of higher learning to head off to. I'll be heading into the real world armed with only #hashtags and tap shoes, and wow, it's a scary feeling. This new, large pool looks dark and deep, and naturally I'm hesitantly dipping one toe in, rather than just diving right in.
I want to soak this last year in. The mornings I wake up so late I rush out of the house without giving my looks a second thought (the ugly), the tests I fill out with only the guidance of "Well the last time I filled in A was three questions ago, so it seems reasonable that this answer might be A, too," (the bad), and those days where I nail a triple pirouette, where my mind is blown by a class discussion, where I learn, expand, and grow (the AMAZING).
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| Last first day of school with my amazing roomie Sean! |
I'm going to soak it all in, and then, I'm going to cannonball.
